I'll Always Remember You
by kute-lido-azn
Summary: Sakura found out she is dianogsed with Leukemia. She is going to die soon. Tomoyo can't bear the fact that her best friend is leaving her forever. A One shot Fanfic about friendship...... RR


Disclaimer: I don't own CCS. CLAMP does.  
  
An: One shot fan fiction. My first one and a very special.  
  
I am going to leave my school end of this year and along with it, my best friend.  
  
This fan fiction is dedicated to my bestestestest friend in the WHOLE world.  
  
Along with the rest of my friends.... And yes my oldestestest friend.... =P  
  
Ok... Let's get on with the fanfic...  
  
This is going to be one sad one....  
  
My first sad one...  
  
Heheh...  
  
Title: I'll Always Remember You  
  
*  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Tired emerald eyes opened. Only to see the hospital lights shining brightly in to her eyes.  
  
'When am I ever going to get out of here?' She thought.  
  
'Probably never...' A tear fell out but she ignored it.  
  
She looked around the room that she's been living in for a year.  
  
She sighed as she saw the familiar pink chair, the Sakura blossom stickers, the pink and white sheets.  
  
She turned to her Diary. Her best friend when her friends aren't around.  
  
*Later  
  
"Sakura?" Raven long hair and amethyst eyes peeked out from behind the white doors.  
  
"Hey Tomoyo!"  
  
"Miss me?"  
  
"Yeah, It's so boring here."  
  
Tomoyo laughed softly.  
  
"Don't worry Sakura. You'll be out of here in no time."  
  
"You said that half a year ago when I started the chemo."  
  
Tomoyo stopped laughing.  
  
"I am sorry. I made you remember."  
  
"Don't worry. It's not like I could forget." Sakura said bitterly.  
  
"Oh Sakura..."  
  
"Don't worry. So what happened?"  
  
"Well... Today there is a new boy at school. His name is Eriol. He is so cute. He has midnight blue eyes and hair. He looks so dreamy."  
  
Sakura smiled. "How is Syaoran?"  
  
Tomoyo's smile fallen.  
  
"Syaoran left school to go back to Hong Kong."  
  
Sakura felt her heart break.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"His mother needed him back to learn the business ways of the Li's."  
  
"When is he coming back?" Sakura asked softly. Afraid of what she might hear.  
  
"Maybe not for 2 or 3 years."  
  
Sakura felt tears coming down.  
  
"I might not make it to that time."  
  
"Yes you will Sakura."  
  
"I know what is happening to my body. Don't you think I know? I know that my cancer is getting worse. It's hopeless. I won't see him, not anymore."  
  
"I am sorry Sakura. Don't cry." Tomoyo held her, while she cried.  
  
*  
  
That night, Sakura sat there, writing in her Diary again.  
  
*  
  
Sakura woke up the next day.  
  
Only to meet with the feeling of heartbreak.  
  
Yesterday's conversation is sinking in.  
  
Tomoyo came in.  
  
This time she isn't all cheerful and happy.  
  
She is sad.  
  
Her eyes downcast.  
  
"Sakura?" Her voice soft.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Remember when we signed up for the international exchange program?"  
  
Sakura nodded. "You got accepted."  
  
Tomoyo nodded.  
  
"My mom is making me go. Saying it's a once in the life time chance."  
  
"You're leaving too..." Sakura's voice cracked.  
  
"Sakura..."  
  
"Go... Get out of here. I don't want to see you." Sakura cried.  
  
Tomoyo tried to stay but Sakura got up and pushed her out.  
  
She sanked in to the blue sofa and cried.  
  
"My best friend is leaving. Syaoran left... Who is next?"  
  
Sakura cried for what seem like a long time.  
  
'What would become of our friendship?' She thought.  
  
Sakura turned to her Diary, her only friend left in this world.  
  
"Mother... It's not fair." Sakura is talking to her mother, in heaven.  
  
"Why Mother? Why does my life has to be so sad? My last weeks of life and my best friend and my boyfriend leaves."  
  
Sakura looked down.  
  
She began to fall asleep.  
  
*  
  
Day after day she woke and slept.  
  
No one came to visit her. Everyone is busy with their lives.  
  
Touya is in Hong Kong, living with his wife.  
  
Her dad is in England, having a month long meeting.  
  
Everyone else is just busy with their own lives.  
  
The last few weeks of her life are so lonely.  
  
Sakura turned to her Diary. Writing in it very often lately.  
  
*  
  
The doctor just told her she has about one more week left. Her brother, father, Tomoyo, and Syaoran are coming back right away.  
  
How they found out, she'll never know. But they're coming back.  
  
*  
  
3 days later, Sakura sat up on her bed. She put her cap on tighter. So no one would notice the lost of her shiny auburn hair.  
  
Having Leukemia is hard.  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
"Come in."  
  
Messy Chestnut brown hair poked in to the room. Amber eyes peeked in.  
  
"Sakura?"  
  
"Syaoran? You're back!"  
  
Syaoran ran over and hugged her.  
  
"I am sorry I have to leave. Miss me?"  
  
"Yes! Of course!"  
  
"I am sorry I wasn't here with you. Do you forgive me?"  
  
"Of course I do!"  
  
Syaoran kissed her softly.  
  
"I'm sorry Sakura. Are you mad?"  
  
"A little. I was mostly heartbroken."  
  
Hearing Sakura saying that hurt him so much.  
  
"I am so sorry. Sakura, you're so young. Only 16, you'll live. Fight for your life to live. OK?"  
  
Sakura nodded.  
  
Syaoran opened a little black box. He took out a sliver locket with a flower engraved on it.  
  
"For you Sakura." He put it on her. Inside was a picture of Syaoran and herself.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Tomoyo walked in.  
  
"I saw you 2 in here, so I waited outside. I couldn't wait any longer."  
  
Sakura smiled. "I miss you! How are you?"  
  
"Fine! Eriol actually went on the exchange program too!"  
  
Sakura laughed.  
  
Syaoran raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Eriol?"  
  
Tomoyo looked at him. "You know him?"  
  
"He's my cousin."  
  
"That is so cool!" Tomoyo exclaimed.  
  
Sakura just look on, watching her friends talking.  
  
She's so happy that her friends are back for her last week.  
  
Last week of her life.  
  
Syaoran turned to Sakura.  
  
"You're so quiet." He said softly.  
  
Sakura just smiled.  
  
"Sakura... are you mad at me still?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"Of course not! You came back just to see me!" Sakura softly replied her.  
  
"Are you tired?" Syaoran asked.  
  
His voice is so soft.  
  
Sakura fell asleep.  
  
"She's probably really tired out from all the excitement."  
  
"Yeah, let's go. We'll come back later."  
  
Syaoran and Tomoyo left Sakura to sleep.  
  
When Syaoran left the room, he sank down in to one of the chairs and put his head in his hands.  
  
Tomoyo sat down next to him. "Don't worry Syaoran. Sakura is a fighter. She'll pull through."  
  
Syaoran looked up. His eyes wet and shiny.  
  
"This time she's alone. No one to help her."  
  
"Syaoran...."  
  
"Forget it Tomoyo... I can't stand life without her. It doesn't matter what you say. I need her... She always cheer me up when I was down."  
  
"You know Syaoran. You're not the only one that is suffering through this. You're not alone. How do you think I feel? Sakura was always there when I needed her. Always helping me through the toughest times. How do you think I would feel?"  
  
Syaoran didn't say anything. He couldn't.  
  
"Syaoran, let's stop talking as if she's dead."  
  
"She's going to be soon...." Syaoran's voice was barely audible.  
  
It was so clear that Syaoran was suffering.  
  
And Sakura was still alive. What would happen when Sakura is... gone?  
  
*  
  
When Sakura woke up again, she thought she was dreaming.  
  
The room was covered with cherry blossoms. In walls, the floors were at least 5 cm thick with cherry blossoms.  
  
Sakura looked at the pink room and sniff in the soft scent of the cherry blossoms.  
  
It was beautiful.  
  
"Sakura?"  
  
Sakura turned to find her brother, sitting on her bed.  
  
Smiling, Sakura hugged Touya.  
  
"I miss you so much Touya."  
  
"Me too Sakura."  
  
"Did you do this Touya?"  
  
He blushed and said, "Well... Yes..."  
  
"You know you didn't have to! How many dozens of cherry blossoms was it? Did it take you a long time?"  
  
"Well... 50 Dozens and it only took me 3 hours."  
  
"Thanks Touya." Sakura's eyes filling with tears. She was grateful and happy her older brother was here for her.  
  
"Touya? Can I ask for a favour?"  
  
"Of course Sakura."  
  
"Can you give Tomoyo and Syaoran my diary after I am gone."  
  
Touya nodded. "But you're going to have to give it to them yourselves because you're not going to go anywhere but home."  
  
Sakura hugged Touya. "Thanks." Her voice was muffled by Touya's shirt.  
  
"Touya... One more thing. When I die, burn me and put me in a glass jar with cherry blossoms on the outside. Put my locket on top of my ashes. Once a year, come put a dozen of cherry blossoms by my grave."  
  
Touya nodded. He couldn't bear that Sakura was going to leave.  
  
The door opened and Fujitaka walked in.  
  
"Woah, so many flowers."  
  
Sakura turned quickly. Almost hitting Touya's head.  
  
"Watch it Kaijuu."  
  
"Sakura no kaijuu."  
  
But they smile a knowing smile anyway.  
  
"How's my little girl?" Her dad ask.  
  
He sat down beside Sakura.  
  
"I'm fine dad. I miss you so much."  
  
"Me too sweet heart. Me too."  
  
Soon, lots of people started drifting in. Like Syaoran, Tomoyo and Eriol.  
  
Her friends became walking in and telling her what's been happening.  
  
They all knew she wasn't going to be with them any longer.  
  
*  
  
That night, when everyone left, Tomoyo stayed to talk to Sakura.  
  
"I am going to miss you Sakura. You always brighten up my day."  
  
Tomoyo cried.  
  
They could feel the end was near.  
  
Syaoran came in.  
  
"I couldn't leave Sakura. I was sitting my car for hours. I couldn't leave. Without saying bye or talking to you or... a lot of things. I have so much to tell you."  
  
Tomoyo walked out and Syaoran sat down.  
  
"I love you Sakura. Always and forever."  
  
Sakura cried. "Syaoran, you have to promise me one thing."  
  
"Sakura...."  
  
"Promise me. Out of all the love you have for me. You have to promise to love again."  
  
"Sakura... I can't promise that. I just can't. Life is so... empty without you. I can't love again. I can't betray the love I have for you. I can't...."  
  
"Syaoran... please promise me?"  
  
Sakura's eyes were full of tears and love.  
  
Syaoran reluctantly nodded.  
  
"Thanks Syaoran."  
  
Sakura's eyes closed.  
  
Her heart stopped.  
  
She was gone.  
  
Her voice kept echoing in his mind.  
  
'Thanks Syaoran... Thanks Syaoran... Thanks Syaoran...."  
  
Syaoran held on to Sakura's lifeless body and cried.  
  
"Sakura... Don't... Leave..."  
  
It was useless.  
  
She was gone.  
  
*  
  
Tomoyo watched as her best friend was being burned.  
  
They look at her one last time.  
  
She was like a sleeping angel. About to be returned to heaven.  
  
Tomoyo tried to shake the image out of her head. She couldn't.  
  
All she could do was break down and cry.  
  
Syaoran held her as they both cried together.  
  
"She's really gone..."  
  
Was all Syaoran managed to say.  
  
Touya approached Tomoyo.  
  
"Tomoyo, Syaoran... This is Sakura's diary. She made me promise to give it to you two when she's gone."  
  
Tomoyo held on to the Diary.  
  
Syaoran just looked at it.  
  
Tomoyo pressed the diary in to Syaoran's hands.  
  
"You keep it." Was all she said, before she cried again.  
  
Syaoran held on to the pink diary. He was staring at the cherry blossom cover.  
  
He couldn't open it.  
  
It felt like betraying Sakura's feelings.  
  
Syaoran left the funreal when the ceremony was over.  
  
* A Year Later  
  
Syaoran stood at Sakura's grave. Holding on to her Diary.  
  
'She's been gone for a year.'  
  
His year felt so empty. With Sakura to make it special, he felt empty. It never felt like he's there.  
  
He's been drifting in his mind.  
  
Syaoran lay down the bouquet of Cherry Blossoms. One year ago, the day after Sakura was buried.  
  
He had planted a Sakura tree next to her. It was only a seed than. He came every day to take care of it.  
  
Syaoran looked at Sakura.  
  
"I can't open your diary. I can't. I can't face the fact that you're... gone..."  
  
Syaoran laid down the Diary and decided to leave.  
  
The leaves rustle and the book opened.  
  
Syaoran walked back to the diary.  
  
"Read it Syaoran...." An echo said. Sakura's echo.  
  
Syaoran picked up the book.  
  
'I'll read it with Tomoyo.' He decided.  
  
Until he saw what was on the page.  
  
Tomoyo told me Syaoran left today. I never felt anything so... so horrible... My heart was broken on that day. It shattered. I need Syaoran. Why does he have to leave now? Why? I love him so much. So so much. I need to tell him. I have to tell him. I tried calling his house. I couldn't. I back out in the end. Why? I don't know. I have no idea. Maybe it's because if he loves me enough, he wouldn't have left me in the first place. Maybe. Maybe he has to. I mean when I die, it doesn't mean he would. He has to continue the Li Clan. I don't want him to be the cold heartless person he use to be. I finally got through to him. After a long time, but he finally became a soft and gentle person. I don't want to risk him turning back.  
  
He closed the book. He couldn't continue. Thoughts were running through his head. He couldn't stop it.  
  
'Even when Sakura was dying, all she could think about was how to make our lives easier when she leaves us.'  
  
'I love Sakura so much.'  
  
Syaoran left.  
  
He drove over to Tomoyo's house.  
  
Tomoyo look like she expected him to come.  
  
"Tomoyo, here's Sakura's diary. I think it's only fair, if we read I together."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She gave it to both of us. So we should open it and read it together."  
  
Tomoyo understands.  
  
Syaoran opened to the first page.  
  
I can't believe how bad this day turned out to be. I found out I have leukemia. I can't believe it. I was fine. Until I found out I had cancer. Why does it have to be me? This day was so good. From the start that is. Syaoran asked me to the dance. The major dance of the year. I was so happy. I was celebrating with Tomoyo. All of a sudden I blacked out and here I am. In the hospital. Being told that I have cancer. Cancer.... Why cancer? Why not the flu or something? I have to stay in the hospital till I get better. I want to get better. I want to spend the rest of my life with Syaoran. I liked him for so long. Like 5 years. Now he finally noticed me, I have to die soon. The doctor said I might not die. But I know I will. I know it.  
  
Syaoran turned to the middle of it. He couldn't stand reading about what Sakura felt during the chemo treatments.  
  
Wow... today is my birthday. I celebrated with my best friends. Syaoran is still with me, by my side. It's been half a year now. He's still with me. He's been with me through those treatments. Through everything. He's still there. Most guys would leave. He loves me. He told me today. I am so happy. There was a HUGE cake with chocolate frosting. I got lots of presents. My favourite one was the one Tomoyo gave it. It was a picture album of all the pictures we ever took. I asked her if she has copies. She said she made lots of copies of those pictures. There was also video tapes of things she tape me doing. I was watching it all night long. We've been through so much together. Graduating from elementary school. First day of High school. I was so happy when I found out I got some classes with her....  
  
Tomoyo started to cry.  
  
"I miss her so much. I just sat by her grave on her birthday. All I could do was cry and remember the times we were together. I can't help it. I miss her. She brighten up my day. Made life worth all those sad times." Tomoyo said. Her voice soft.  
  
Syaoran nodded.  
  
Tomoyo turned to the page, when Syaoran came back to see her.  
  
They look so happy today. It was all an act. I heard Syaoran crying. I over heard what he said. There was no way I could sleep. I couldn't. Not when I know that I am going to sleep forever pretty soon. Syaoran gave me a locket today. It was beautiful. I can't help thinking about what Syaoran did for me. All I do now it think of Syaoran. I feel so bad. I don't even think of my best friend all that much anymore. Tomoyo seems so happy. I feel so happy that she found Eriol. So happy. But what about Syaoran? Would he find someone? I don't want him always floating... feeling that he can't love again. I have to make him promise me to love again. Syaoran never breaks promises. He needs to learn to accept other people....  
  
Syaoran just closed the book.  
  
"I can't read it. There is no way I could continue."  
  
Tomoyo looked at Syaoran sadly.  
  
"Syaoran... keep the book."  
  
"No... you keep it Tomoyo... Sakura would've wanted you to keep it."  
  
"Syaoran...."  
  
"Tomoyo... I can't... I can't accept what's happen. I need time."  
  
"Syaoran you need to understand one thing."  
  
"What?" Syaoran looked at Tomoyo. His eyes intent.  
  
"She's gone. It's a fact we can't change. But she'll always be in our hearts."  
  
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An: Isn't it sad? REVIEW!! 


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